Denise Roy’s Ezine Newsletter
http://www.deniseroy.com
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SEPTEMBER 2007
This Month's Essay: "Voice Lessons"
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MOMFULNESS NEWS
My book, "Momfulness: Mothering with Mindfulness,
Compassion, and Grace" was just named one of the Best
Spiritual Books of 2007 by Spirituality and Practice
(one of my favorite websites). They had also named my
previous book, "My Monastery Is a Minivan," as one
of the Best Spiritual Books of 2001. To read more,
visit their website at:
http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/books/features.php?id=17202
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SEMINARS THIS WEEK
For those of you in the SF Bay Area, I'd like to
invite you to a couple of events:
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 7 - 9 pm
An Evening with Denise Roy:
Momfulness: Mothering with Mindfulness, Compassion & Grace
Adobe Lodge, Santa Clara University campus
cost: $10 advance/ $15 at door
RSVP at SCU Alumni Office: 408-554-6800
http://www.scu.edu/Alumni/invites/momfulness9.07.pdf
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 1 – 4 pm
Momfulness: Mothering with Mindfulness, Compassion & Grace
Reflections on Mothering in all its forms
Mercy Center in Burlingame, CA
cost: $25 To register, call 650.340.7474 or go online at:
http://www.mercy-center.org/Flyers_2007/09_30Momfulness/momfulness.htm
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ESSAY
VOICE LESSONS
by Denise Roy
http://www.deniseroy.com
"...let us always be kind in this world."
—Natalie Goldberg
I am sitting at my kitchen table, drinking coffee from
my favorite mug. My notebook is in front of me, and I
am doing writing practice before I read the newspaper
or check my email. I begin by listening to an audiotape
of author Natalie Goldberg; she is reading from her
wonderful book, "Writing Down the Bones."
Even though Natalie is not with me in person, I feel
as if I have a friend in my kitchen, a coffee buddy.
Her voice an alive thing — there is a quality that
comes through it that amazes me. It is not only her
words — what she is saying — but it is also her tone,
and the silence that surrounds her words. It is the
smile that comes through along with her passion. It
is her humor and delight, as if she is happiest
right now just talking with her listeners, talking
about what she loves.
The quality of her voice reflects the fact that she
has meditated for decades. She has a depth of
compassion for herself that is the wellspring of
her compassion for others. The sound of her voice
helps me find my own voice on this morning. I begin
to write.
Then the telephone rings. It is my mother. Her
voice sounds plaintive and sad. She is looking
for a direction to her day, hoping for an
invitation or for some news of what is happening
in her children's lives. She keeps asking me
questions, and in that moment, I am only aware
of being irritated at being disturbed. I push
her away, and cut our conversation short.
After I hang up, I turn on the tape again. I
hear Natalie's kind voice, and then I realize
the message I had sent to my mom: "Don’t bother
me. I don’t have time for you."
I decide to call my mother back. I feel my voice
soften. I realize that when I call my own sons,
who are now living on their own, I often ask too
many questions, and I can feel them pull away.
My compassion for my mom returns. "Would you
like to come to dinner?" I ask. I know that
this visit will be an anchor for her day.
"I’d love to" she says. She adds, "Thank you.
You’ve saved me from sausage and sauerkraut."
I hang up, and turn my tape player back on,
and I thank Natalie for the lesson in finding
my voice. She responds:
"The deepest secret in our heart of hearts is
that we are writing because we love the world,
and why not finally carry that secret out with
our bodies into the living rooms and porches,
backyards and grocery stores? Let the whole
thing flower: the poem and the person writing
the poem. And let us always be kind in this world."
PRACTICE: Today, listen to what comes through
your voice as you speak to your children, to a
parent, to a co-worker, to yourself.
What do you hear in your voice?
Can you let kindness come through?
blessings & peace,
Denise Roy
© 2007 Denise Roy. All rights reserved.
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Denise Roy, LMFT, M.Div., is an author, a licensed
marriage and family therapist, a popular speaker,
and a mother of five. Her books and audiotapes
include "Momfulness: Mothering with Mindfulness,
Compassion, and Grace" (Jossey-Bass, 2007),
"My Monastery Is a Minivan" (Loyola Press, 2001) and
"Meditations for Mothers” (Random House Audiobook, 2007).
Her essays have also been included in these books:
Your Children Will Raise You; I Like Being a Mom;
The Miracle of Sons; Spiritual Surrender; and
Humor for a Mom's Heart.
Denise and her husband live in the San Francisco Bay area;
they have three grown sons, an 12-year-old daughter, and
an 18-year-old foster daughter from Iran.
For more information, please contact her at
mailto:denise@deniseroy.com and visit her Web site at
http://www.DeniseRoy.com.
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You can order a copy of Denise’s books/CDs on Amazon or
from your local bookstore:
"MOMFULNESS: Mothering with Mindfulness,Compassion, and Grace":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0787981974/familyspirit-20
"Momfulness is a blessing and a prayer -- The way to wholeness is
in these pages." - Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Mother-Daughter
Wisdom, and Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom
"Meditations for Mothers: Adapted from Momfulness"
http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Mothers-Adapted-MOMFULNESS-Denise/dp/0739342681/ref=ed_oe_a/103-6342371-6747857?ie=UTF8&qid=1166051023&sr=1-2
"My Monastery Is a Minivan":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0829416870/familyspirit-20
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Denise speaks at schools, churches, conferences and
community organizations both locally and nationally.
If you are interested in more information for your group,
please email her at mailto:denise@deniseroy.com
You can view some possible topics at:
http://deniseroy.com/events.htm
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